My Weakness; My Strength

Are you the one standing behind every door? Watching, whether I fall or stand tall.

Are you the one looking through the window? Reading my mind, enjoying my sorrow.

Are you the one hiding under my bed? Whispering words of fear and dread.

Are you the shadow that becomes darker with the rising sun? Foreseeing all my intentions, and not just one.

You follow me everywhere, with nothing but disbelief to share.

You have tricked me more than once; but I have learned to hop, skip and pounce.

You are the one who will not confront me, for you fear my potency.

When I shine with all my bright, you will cast no shadows, out of fright.  

When I open all my windows, you will hide in the hollows.

And when I close my door to you, you will not find even a keyhole to percolate through.

Your eyes, your words and even your presence, had made me question my very essence.  

But now I know they were just fields, where I practiced and honed my skills.

Thank you for the opportunity, I now believe you were my destiny.

Pic Credit: Kaushik Biswas 

They didn’t get up and they didn’t move

Here I am, telling a story
about a boy who felt sorry

Sorry he got caught
doing things that he should not

Pulling the cat’s tail
kicking the dog, that’s frail.

So one day he thought of a trick
to scare his sister and get away in a flick

The demure girl was reading her book
when he came by and played the hook

Would you mind coming over to the balcony?
I can show you something to your fancy.

She leaned far enough to see
a dog tied at the edge of a tree

It was scared and it was frail
and it had firecrackers tied to its tail

She leapt to save him, but alas
losing her footing she went down, straight to the grass

She didn’t get up, she didn’t move
yet somehow he saw, the dog was loose.

His mother yelled, his father cried
after all she was the apple of their eye

What could he say or do
to make his sister come and make this untrue.

But she was gone, that was for sure
and there was something causing a stir

That night he couldn’t sleep
for he could hear his sister next to him, breath

The dog howled outside his window
suddenly he saw a moving shadow.

He sat right up, on his bed
there was a cold hand brushing by his head

Who are you, get away
he cried and he swayed

Standing in the moonlight,
she was all dressed up, like every other night

Are you happy now, that I am dead
Were those real, the tears that you shed?

I didn’t mean to hurt you
he screamed, you know that’s true

But now I know what to do,
the real lesson is now here for you

She took a step
and he jumped right out of the bed

She was gone, nowhere to be seen
he wondered, was he imagining the scene

The next day came and then the next
nothing changed, it all seemed like the rest

But one day it happened
Leaning by the balcony, he saw it all unwind

A dog tied at the edge of a tree
Frail and scared, ready to flee

A girl sat next to it
saying nothing, just petting it

Suddenly she looked up, right at him
blood and grim encrusting her face, once so prim

The shock of it all
was too much for him to haul

He lost his footing
and tumbled down on the landing

He didn’t get up, he didn’t move
his blood flowed out, where once he stood.

He didn’t get up, he didn’t move
yet the neighbour swears, he saw him with his sister, near the grove

What it would have been?

I will be standing, one day, next to you

Feeling nothing but remorse, not for me, but you

I didn’t surrender to the darkness, you left me to

I embraced the light, seeping through the key hole

I stood the test of time and here I am standing tall

Making a better life, better than the one I would have had with you.

But today you are my muse

The pain is there for use.

The hurt and scars to show

To make me write my heart out and the well of emotions tip

Feelings, I never knew existed

Thoughts I could never conjure

Thank you for that pain that reminds me

Today I have everything better, better than what it could have been. 

Pic Credit: Kaushik Biswas

First Time

I seem to have forgotten the feeling, when you first held my hand,

But I do remember that I didn’t feel it with someone else.

I have forgotten how it felt to entangle my fingers around yours.

Yet, I remember that the texture isn’t the same as the one that I hold now.

I remember the absence of butterflies when I kissed next,

I remember the regularity of everything else.

But I vividly remember the hurt and pain, I suffered from your love.

I remember the tears streaming endlessly through countless nights, waiting for your phone call.

I have forgiven you.

I have moved on.

But the fact that you were the first will never be erased.

You do not hold that position for me anymore.

But that feeling of first kiss, still lingers

That feeling of holding hands, still excites

That feeling of pounding heart, still entices

Feelings for the first time get imprinted for life.