My Life Now

Life had moved on a long time ago. Today I stand the test of time wondering whether I will be able to make it through. I was the one who tread every step on the rose bed. I was the one who could turn sour milk into cheese and make it delicious again. He wronged me and went away and took my charms with him. I never realized when I had gifted him. It was love then.

Today I have my life with me and the most amazing part of it is that even without my charm we still try to make it like a leaf bed, even if not a rose bed. We try to make the best out of whatever littlest thing that we possess. We enjoy even if it rains just one drop, or if its blistering hot or if its bone chilling cold outside. That’s life. But sometimes I wonder, I wish I could gift my charms to my life rather than the love I once had. Not for me but for the heart that he possesses and the value he bestows upon me.

The charms are working wonders for my love and I only want the best. But what about my life which I now value more than love! But then the clouds parted and God said, “don’t you see, he is your charm. You don’t need one anymore”. And he was right, my life is my charm and the littlest thing that we enjoy are the wonders of the charm, otherwise who could enjoy more than 12 hours of drive without air conditioning in blistering summers, well, we did. I do miss my charm but I wouldn’t give this one up for anything in the world.

This epiphany came upon me while I was writing this piece up. Yes, I did lose my charm and all my good luck. I am struggling more than ever and I see my life suffer because of my failures. But he never once blinks in dismay. He encourages me to move on and go ahead. If ever the phrase “behind ever successful man there is a woman” were true, then there ought to be one more. “Behind every successful woman there is either a loving husband/ father or a conniving boyfriend.” Its true women are much stronger than men. I am stronger. I am stronger for my life and all the hardships that I need to bear to make it into a leaf bed, if not a rose bed.

I am truly thankful to God for blessing me with such a life as this. A life with my love I had seen, it was difficult and unimaginable. But a life with my life is exactly what was meant for me.

How has life played it out for me,

I never realised that it was destiny. 

You were the one who looked me up,

And brought with you memories to fill my cup. 

I wonder how my life would be without you, 

I know now that no one could love me like you do. 

I wish I could give you the world and more,

but alas, all I have is my heart that was already sore. 

You took my heart and made it precious again, 

Thank you dear, for mending my broken reign. 

You are my life now, my love now, 

You are my everything and forever now.

Thank you Neel!